Parenting isn’t easy and anyone who says otherwise probably hasn’t experienced the joy of becoming a parent. While parenting isn’t the easiest thing in the world, it is the most rewarding thing you’ll ever do. Getting pregnant, visiting baby stores and buying your convertible crib and other baby accessories is just some of the things that you’ll enjoy doing when getting ready to give birth. Raising a child and seeing yourself in them gives you great joy and acceptance in your life. Along the way you’ll learn great things, and experience things that no other experience will give you. The problem is though that not everyone will tell you about the dark side of parenting. For those who are curious, here’s a guide to the dark parenting truths no one ever talks about when they become a parent.
1. You May Give Up A Part Of Yourself
If you talk to many parents, you’ll find that at some point in time they had to give up and sacrifice something they loved in life in order to raise their child. For many, dreams and passions are soon on the back burner of life, staying warm until you have the chance and the time to get back to them. Others on the other hand, the flame stays strong even after the baby has come into your life. Either way, it’s one thing that may people don’t tell you when you’re about to become a new parent.
2. You May Understand Horrific Things For The First Time
Before becoming a parent, you could never imagine yourself or why anyone would hurt an innocent child. This is until you have an inconsolable child of your own, in the middle of the night, and that’s been crying for hours at a time. In moments like this many parents have admitted the urge to scream, throw things, and yes shake or harm the baby. In moment’s like this however your willpower needs to be strong. The best course of action when you have a time like this is to walk out of the room and close the door for a few minutes. Take a deep breath, collect yourself before walking back in again. If it helps to drown out the noise place ear plugs in to help you cope better.
3. You’ll Feel Heartbreak For The Rest Of Your Life
As your child grows and learns to do things on their own, you’ll feel a sense of heartbreak tugging at your heart strings each time. While it’s important for them to grow and move on with life, it’s still hard to watch and know that some things will be the last things they do with you. You’ll also experience an intense fear from time to time if anything were to happen to them or if you lose them. Having a child will allow you to express more love than you ever thought possible. Even if your heart has to break from time to time.
4. You May Lose Friends
Parenthood has a way to disrupt your life completely. You may even find that when you have children you may just lose some old friends who aren’t parents yet. This is because some friends can’t relate to your new situation, thus disconnecting from you. You won’t be able to do things you used to with them so they move on to new people who can. While you may lose friends along the parenthood journey, you will also gain them as well.
5. You May Find Parenting Is Unfulfilling
Many people have the notion that becoming a parent will fulfill your life completely. In reality, it’s not completely true. While a child does fill a gap in your life, it doesn’t make you whole as you give away some of the things you once loved in order to care for the child. Children shouldn’t consume your entire life and shouldn’t be viewed as extensions of ourselves. Parenting is about enjoying the wonder and joy in life and enjoying life with those, you love. It doesn’t have to fulfill you completely, as long as a part of you is complete that’s all that matters.
When it comes to the 5 dark parenting truths we never talk about, it’s a good idea to know them before you become a parent. This way you’ll feel it’s completely normal when you do feel or experience this in your own life. So are you becoming a parent soon?
Bio: Caroline Kastner
Caroline Kastner is a loving parent and child advocate who looks to help children in need. She has contributed to Active Baby and loves to write, read, and teach through her blogs about different struggles parents go through. She’s hoping to adopt a child to give her son a new sibling and a caring home. She has a warm heart and loves to give back to children’s charities.